I can understand how people get sucked into investing in bad funds sometimes, like Bernie Madoff's or that guy who tried to fake his own suicide at the Hudson River, but who the hell would invest in something called the Magic Eight Ball Distribution?
The SEC is suing this guy named Sean David Morton who claims to be "America's Prophet", to have been trained by Nepalese monks in the art of time travel (HA! I snort derisively at your so-called lame claims!) and who claims to have predicted all the rises and falls of the stock market for the last 14 years despite, well, being so bloody WRONG about so many of them. He sucked millions of dollars out of what I can only assume were fuzzy-headed tree-hugging granola-crunching liberals, who go way more in for that fluffybunny psychic crap than us reality-hardened conservatives. I mean what the hell are people thinking?!!? Although granted sometimes it seems like a psychic or a Magic Eight Ball would do just as good a job of predicting Wall Street's failures and successes as this Jim Cramer guy, who at least was trained by Nepalese monks in the art of free market economics. Well, maybe not Nepalese monks but he got a law degree from Harvard University.
In other news, the TSA is going to deploy something like eleven more full-body scanners at airports around the US in an attempt to stop future wannabe underwear bombers. Maybe colonoscopies are next in the search for explosive contraband. I wonder if I'd have to claim that with my health insurance company?
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